when I scream..is anyone listening?

I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble where no one can hear me. like those dreams where you're standing and someones coming after you yet you can't move. you're scared out of your mind and your yelling for someone to wake you from this wretched dream. you're trying to pull your body off the floor to run away but all of a sudden its as if someone had drilled nails to your feet so you can't leave. think I'm overexaggerating? I'm totally not.

what makes a relationship work? communication and understanding am I right? but how does that work when the type of communication you're getting is just question after question. how does it work when they're too busy trying to be right to fully understand why you're feeling the way you do. how will it work when one just walks away from an issue hoping it will just go away just like that (yes, I admit that even I'M not helping in this situation) or that my hand against someones face will make things better. its not about the small issue, its not about a blanket..or who's right or wrong. its about feeling like youve done something good by going out of your way (and no they didn't ask u to do it) to please a person and all they do is take it for granted. that's what its about. and if I'm wrong for feeling like my actions have been put to the side for the mere fact of being right. then so be it.

I've never gotten phsyical with anyone but does it ever cross ones mind that the reason why I do it is cause they push my buttons? maybe the way I can push a persons buttons to curse and yell at me the way they do when I walk away. cause I know that's what makes them mad.

this isn't healthy. I want us to be healthy. I want us to have an understanding of each other. I know I can't change a person but I wish we can come to a conclusion of how to handle situations without it ending up the way it does. I guess the only way that can happen is through communication is it not? don't get me wrong. he totally understands me when were not fighting. but when we are its like he's a different person. this person who doesn't care to see how I'm feeling because he's so tuned out. it scares me. he knows it scares me. I just hope one day, it will never have to be like this again. I love him. I really do. I don't even care if he doesn't feel the same way back. I love him not for his temper but for everything except that. I have faith that one day well be able to handle things better. but does he?