&& a happy new year

Twinkles New Years Resolutions

1. go to hooters ONCE a month oorrr once every two weeks HEHE (wish me luck)

2. go to the gym every other day

3. lose my temper

4. spend more time with my mom & dad

5. dont sweat the small stuff

6. save my money

maybe ill think of more later..

for those who are inquiring to know, i have quit smoking for about 2 months now? yay me! thanks to the boyfriend. he keeps me on check and reminds me how much trouble i got in the last time i smoked. HAHA. jk.

if i learned anything at all this year, its to appreciate everything and never take the little things for granted. to be more open minded and not to take criticism so lightly.

the boyfriend taught me a lot and really changed me for the better. although i have to admit that theres still some small kinks i have to fix but altogether, im doing a lot better. i acknowledge my faults and my mistakes and ive learned to suck in my pride and apologize for the things i say or for the way i act sometimes. i know i can sometimes come off rude, or even a bitch. i guess sometimes the inner mean girl in me comes out. but beneath it all, i do have a heart. haha.

so for those in the year 2008 that ive hurt in some way, im truthfully sorry. i cant go back and fix what has been already damaged, all i can do is move forward and hope i dont do it again.

for the dear friend ive lost, jeffrey lorenzo pascua. youre still in my heart, in my mind, & in my thoughts. i miss you more each day. i cant believe how fast time has gone and in exactly

5 days, it will be one year. one year since the tragic accident. one year since i heard my heart drop to my stomach. 365 days of not being able to hear your voice, see your name on my phone, accept a comment on my myspace. i wont be there for the prayer but do know im planning on seeing you on monday. i know youve looked down on me and seen the changes thats happen within a few months. youre probably even dissapointed in me. im dissapointed in myself. but im just glad to know that if you were still here, your friendship with me wouldve never died but wouldve only got stronger. i love you.

goodbye 2008, hello 2009.

san diego love.

last nights game was intense. didnt go anywhere but surely enjoyed laying in bed with the boyfriend while we watched. it was fun wrestling him as if i were a chargers defense and watched as he pretended like i really hurt him. we went to my all time spot after, hooters. luckily the crowd died out by the time we got there. no way was i going to sit and wait for an hour and a half. i gotta give it up to sproles..

he was the shit. he cut through denver like a scissor cuts through paper. smooth. are you san diegans ready for the playoffs? i sure am. ill be tailgating with the fams & the bf. hopefully by then ill have my number 20 jersey. *hinthint*. hAHA! i have faith, and if they dont make it this year then well, all i can say is.......they did their best. theres always next year. hopefully they dont take out my boy cason. *crosses fingers*. other than that..GOOOOOOO SAN DIEGO!!!

idiot.

twinkletolentino: i smell like old people..
dunnz: i wouldnt share dat kind of shit wit people if i were u
twinkletolentino: hahahaha
twinkletolentino: why not
twinkletolentino: its just dunnz
twinkletolentino: its not like im telling it to brad pitt
twinkletolentino: lol
dunnz: yea.. more like u telling it to denzel
dunnz: or in dis case, dunnzel
twinkletolentino: HAHAHAHA
twinkletolentino: it took u a while to come up with that
dunnz: haha... i was just typing slow
twinkletolentino: yeah sure
twinkletolentino: never seemed to be a problem with you before
twinkletolentino: ahaha so u in sd for the holidays?
dunnz: imma head down when i get off from work today
dunnz: then head back up here tomorrow night
twinkletolentino: too cool to spend xmas in sd?
dunnz: pretty much
dunnz: haha i got work fri
twinkletolentino: hahahaha
twinkletolentino: ooh
dunnz: wut u doin smellin like old people in 7 in da mornin
twinkletolentino: HAHAHA
twinkletolentino: im working
dunnz: right
dunnz: i bet u dont even have work today... and still smell like old people
twinkletolentino: HAHAHAHA
twinkletolentino: your upper lip smells like old people
twinkletolentino: everyday
dunnz: hmmm... dat was good
twinkletolentino: hahahaha
twinkletolentino: thanks
dunnz: haha
dunnz: im tired as shit right now...
dunnz: yesterday, i had a 4-midnight shift, then i had to come in at 7am today
twinkletolentino: from what
twinkletolentino: oh wah wah
twinkletolentino: hahaha jk
dunnz: haha thanks for ur sympathy
twinkletolentino: i meant to say
twinkletolentino: OH MY GOD DUNNZ FOREALS????????????
twinkletolentino: ARE YOU OK??????????????
twinkletolentino: WILL YOU SURVIVE TODAY??????????
dunnz: dats more like it
dunnz: might as well type how u feel rather than trying to act all hard, nahmean?
dunnz: to answer ur concerning questions, i'll make it
dunnz: haha
twinkletolentino: HAHAHA
twinkletolentino: you are truly somethin
dunnz: wut can i say?
twinkletolentino: nothing..
twinkletolentino: jus dont type
twinkletolentino: hahaha
dunnz: haha nice




&& good news folks, plans are back in action. New YEARS in VeGAS WITH the BOYFRIEND & BESTFRIEND!! CAAAAAAAAAANT WAIT!!!

theres LIES in famiLIES..

let me advise you now for those who havent seen four christmases





im telling you, GO SEE IT! it is now on the top list of christmas movies i like. it is HILARIOUS. all i have to say is vince vaughn, is a crack up. the boyfriend and i were laughing so hard. i think the audience lacked a sense of humor though because it seemed like we were the only ones laughing.

twinkles top 10 christmas movies (not in order):

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

can you tell me what my top 10 are???

anywho, christmas isnt what i really expected it to be. im fighting with my mom, my dad would rather be in p.i. my sisters have their own families to enjoy it with. blah, blah, yada, yada. so, i last minute decided to leave san diego and spend the holidays in san jose with the boyfriend and his family. its my first time ever meeting the parents. im nervous. really, nervous. the last time i had to meet parents was ojays? holy tamole. i met the exboyfriends parents but they didnt technically know what category i fell under. so yeah, you can say this is somewhat different. wish me luck folks!

im here at work and tell me why the smell here gets worse and worse each week. it makes me sick to my stomach like no joke. dont get me wrong. i love the people here (when they dont drive me crazy). but i can really do without the smell of old people. HAHA! i think, if it smelled a lot more like my house....id be a lot happier.

anywho, i hope everyone has a happy holidays and a very merry new year! :)

i have crab fever.

adventures with the boyfriend..

the boyfriend, cute aint he?

always on his phone.


while

we

wait

before
after

the morning after..

im starting to hate more and more each week working at the boarding care. the only thing i can probably be thankful about right now is that the new lady isnt psycho crazy like she was when we first had her transfered here. a big high five to medication. now she doesnt go off ranting about dooms day coming. scary. sure, she still sings really loud in the hallway but i tune it out. also, wiley..is in the hospital. ok, maybe i shouldnt be too happy about that but it saved me a night of having to open my door every 5 minutes to recieve a handful of paper with drawings that i dont understand, or having him read me his poems that i also cant understand. someone help me find a new job pronto. i think its time for some change. im seriously debating about going back to school but maybe im not cut out for the med field. i hate the smell of old people. heh.

christmas is coming up and i have yet not figured out what im getting the boyfriend. its hard when he tells me he wants something then says, "you know what..surprise me." oh ill surprise him all right. hes about to get a bag full of v-neck hanes shirts that he likes so much with some socks that he continues to complain about not having too much of. sometimes we'll be at a store and he'll jokingly grab something UGLY and say, "get me this!"..if i were him, id be careful what i wish for. lucky for me hes going to be in san jo for the holidays so ill still have time to figure it out.

speaking of christmas, tell me why i think the secret santa my friends and i had started isnt going to end well. half the people know who has who, we cant figure out when to have the actual get together considering everyone is going to be somewhere else for god knows how long, no one wants to tell each other what they want...ok maybe not no one but MY secret santa has yet to tell me what she wants. it doesnt help that we did this through the internet (www.elfster.com) so we didnt actually get to write on a piece of paper but what we have to do is post it on the internet our "christmas wishlist". whoever has me is REALLY lucky. the only thing i posted were: hooters gift cards, crabhut giftcards, --- ok mainly anything that deals with food. oh well.

then comes new years. the boyfriend and i were supposed to go to vegas for the new years. i only agreed to go because at the time we were supposed to sleep at my bestfriends house. i guess plans changed because my cousin tells me that the bestfriend has no room anymore. good thing she asked otherwise we wouldve drove up 5 hours with no place to stay. im not trying to pay a ridiculous amount of 300 something for 3 nights to be elbow to face with some random strangers on new years eve. not to mention the fact that im 4 feet 11 inches. it will be a stampede for me. i can already see the irritation build up and because of that i wont be able to enjoy the plenty shots of patron that will probably be in my system. so, thanks but no thanks. maybe ill just see what my sisters are up to for new years eve.

god, one more hour until im out of this motherfucker. i need to rinse off this stench of old people NOW and get ready to go to the dmv. yay right? ............not. i HATE the dmv. i hate waiting in line. i hate sitting there waiting for the stupid number to be called on the tv. i hate the group of old stinky guys staring like theyve never seen a girl in their life. its no wonder the people (esp the ladies) look like theyd rather hang themselves then have to work another wretched hour in that place. i cant wait.

a little drop of heaven..

before this day ends, id like to say..

happy HAPPY 5th birthday ms. katelyn enano

my first ever goddaughter. the girl who lights up my life. the sweetest thing ever created. the most beautiful little lady. the smartest 5 year old ever. i hope you got everything you could possibly want. ninang loves you SO much.

dreams do come true..

read it and weep. i sure did.
of joy!!!



you'll know where to find me on tuesdays...viva la HOOTERS!

sarap sarap!!

"matt hillario" (11:47:13 AM): hah hey
twinkletolentino (11:47:18 AM): wussup
"matt hillario" (11:47:50 AM): i swear i got this mail from the 2story mcdonalds
"matt hillario" (11:47:50 AM): hahaa
twinkletolentino (11:48:36 AM): so did i!
twinkletolentino (11:48:41 AM): and it was in taglog rite
twinkletolentino (11:48:45 AM): for free meals
twinkletolentino (11:48:47 AM): and shit
twinkletolentino (11:48:48 AM): lol
"matt hillario" (11:48:49 AM): haaha
"matt hillario" (11:48:52 AM): it was so funny
"matt hillario" (11:48:57 AM): i scanned the picture
twinkletolentino (11:48:57 AM): i know hahaah
twinkletolentino (11:49:07 AM): send it to me
twinkletolentino (11:49:08 AM): LOL
"matt hillario" (11:49:12 AM): it all has a picture of the chicken sandwhich
"matt hillario" (11:49:18 AM): ANG SARAP SARAP SARAP!
"matt hillario" (11:49:19 AM): haahaha
twinkletolentino (11:49:24 AM): lol
twinkletolentino (11:49:27 AM): i know!!!!!
"matt hillario" (11:49:46 AM): haa heere
"matt hillario" (11:49:49 AM): ill link you
"matt hillario" (11:49:51 AM): i just uploaded it
"matt hillario" (11:49:52 AM): hah
twinkletolentino (11:50:00 AM): ok hahahah
"matt hillario" (11:50:02 AM):
twinkletolentino (11:50:09 AM): lol
twinkletolentino (11:50:13 AM): thats gona be my default
"matt hillario" (11:50:20 AM): thats definately from teh 2story
"matt hillario" (11:50:21 AM): hahahha
twinkletolentino (11:52:00 AM): thats hilarious
"matt hillario" (11:53:12 AM): haha
twinkletolentino (11:53:29 AM): i was eating breakfast
twinkletolentino (11:53:34 AM): and i saw it on the table
twinkletolentino (11:53:42 AM): i was like whats ths?
twinkletolentino (11:53:47 AM): and i opened it
twinkletolentino (11:53:51 AM): and jus started laughing
twinkletolentino (11:55:26 AM): u know people around the nat . city mcdonalds by the walmart got one in the mail that said "mmmm muy bien muy bien deliciouso!!"
"matt hillario" (11:57:45 AM): hahaha shut up
"matt hillario" (11:57:48 AM): are you serious?
twinkletolentino (11:58:10 AM): hahaha no im jus saying
twinkletolentino (11:58:13 AM): they probably did
"matt hillario" (11:58:15 AM): you know what the ones that live near imperial got
"matt hillario" (11:58:17 AM): haahaa
twinkletolentino (11:58:22 AM): what
"matt hillario" (11:58:23 AM): dis shit good niggga!
"matt hillario" (11:58:26 AM): dam good!
twinkletolentino (11:58:36 AM): wus dis? chicken? dis shit good!
"matt hillario" (11:58:47 AM): finga lickin gud!
twinkletolentino (11:59:04 AM): betta den popeyes!
twinkletolentino (11:59:13 AM): thank you obama!
"matt hillario" (11:59:23 AM): hahaaha
"matt hillario" (11:59:36 AM): nuggets on hit!
"matt hillario" (12:00:01 PM): we got mcchicken on deck!
twinkletolentino (12:00:14 PM): and then people from mira mesa got "xong di hu yum"
"matt hillario" (12:00:19 PM): hahha
"matt hillario" (12:00:23 PM): HAHA STFU
twinkletolentino (12:00:27 PM): hahahaha

go sherry, its your birthday..were gonna party like its your birthday!!

my sister is not only a sister but my bestfriend. if you are ever to meet her you are considered lucky. its no joke when i say my friends absolutely adore her. its not just because shes cursed with the tolentino beauty (haha) but because she has the best personality and an off the wall sense of humor. shes hilarious. cracks me up ALL the time. shes easy to get along with and always makes you feel welcome. shes the best mom. i can honestly say that when i grow up and have a family of my own id like to be just like her. she and i get along because we're so freakishly alike. so to anyone who doesnt know and who hasnt met her yet, is clearly missing out. so with that, happy birthday ate sher. thanks for being the best big sis. for always having my back & for always being there when i need a shoulder to cry on. i appreciate you in so many ways. i hope you know that. i love you! have a great day. :)

Whenever I'm down, I call on you my friend
A helping hand you lend, in my time of need so I
I'm calling you now, just to make it through
What else can I do, don't you hear my plea

Friends may come and friends may go
But you should know that
That I've got your back, it's automatic
So never hesitate to call
Cuz I'm your sister and always for ya and I

1-I don't know what I'd ever do without you
From the beginning to the end
You've always been here by my side
So I'll call you my best friend
Through the good times and the bad ones
Whether I lose or if I win
I know one thing that never changes and
That's you as my best friend

Whenever I'm down
With all that's going on
It's really going on
Just one of those days
When ya, ya say the right things, to keep me moving
To keep me going strong, what else can I say?

Friends are there through thick and thin
Well I've been told that
And I believe that it's automatic
Call me when you need a friend
Cuz I'm your sister and always for ya and I don't know

sun is so weird..

twinkletolentino (7:12:12 PM): oh em gee sun
twinkletolentino (7:12:14 PM): check it out
twinkletolentino (7:12:18 PM): http://www.cowparadelajolla.com/index.aspx
"sunshine" (7:13:09 PM): HAHAHAHA
"sunshine" (7:13:20 PM): Omg.. Im excited to look it up!
"sunshine" (7:13:27 PM): Hahaha
twinkletolentino (7:13:29 PM): yeah...omg it looks so cool
twinkletolentino (7:13:31 PM): HAHAHA
"sunshine" (7:13:35 PM): You're funny!
"sunshine" (7:13:40 PM): Hahahah
"sunshine" (7:13:50 PM): Awww mannn.. Its soo far from now!
"sunshine" (7:13:57 PM): I got excited!
"sunshine" (7:14:02 PM): HAHAHAH
twinkletolentino (7:14:03 PM): i knooow but that prepares us to get ready
twinkletolentino (7:14:04 PM): hahaha
"sunshine" (7:14:13 PM): HAHAHHA
"sunshine" (7:14:36 PM): Omg.. I need to find the a very COWlicious outfit for this special event!
twinkletolentino (7:15:00 PM): LOL
twinkletolentino (7:15:04 PM): youre HILARIOUS
"sunshine" (7:15:14 PM): HAHAHAHA
"sunshine" (7:15:48 PM): You think we can be a part of the parade?!
"sunshine" (7:15:55 PM): Hahaha jk
twinkletolentino (7:16:01 PM): hahahahahhaahah
twinkletolentino (7:16:11 PM): i was all about to be like "MAYBEEE!"
twinkletolentino (7:16:17 PM): till i realized u were joking
"sunshine" (7:16:42 PM): HAHAHAHA.. I think we have to actually be cows to be in it
"sunshine" (7:17:38 PM): Thaanks for the info fellow cow-lover!
"sunshine" (7:17:45 PM): Annnd the count down begins..
"sunshine" (7:17:53 PM): HAHAHA
twinkletolentino (7:19:07 PM): hahahahahah yeaah! for sure, ill be seein ya there!
"sunshine" (7:21:08 PM): Roxannes just jealous she's not part of FCLA (Fellow Cow Lovers of America)!
"sunshine" (7:21:16 PM): HAHAHAHAH
twinkletolentino (7:21:20 PM): LOL
"sunshine" (7:21:48 PM): Hahahahah
twinkletolentino (7:21:50 PM): not everyone can be apart of our association
twinkletolentino (7:21:52 PM): hahaha
"sunshine" (7:22:32 PM): Hahaha I knooow! its a lot of hard work and dedication
twinkletolentino (7:23:10 PM): i know it takes months to build up to where we are now
twinkletolentino (7:23:13 PM): hahahaha
"sunshine" (7:23:32 PM): Hahahah I knoow
"sunshine" (7:23:51 PM): Its a lot of hard work and mOOoLa.. Get it?!
"sunshine" (7:23:57 PM): HAHAHAHA jk
twinkletolentino (7:23:58 PM): shes just mad cuz they dont have a unicorn parade
"sunshine" (7:24:02 PM): Hahahah
twinkletolentino (7:24:06 PM): HAHAHAHA youre so weird sun
"sunshine" (7:24:21 PM): I knoow annnd she doesn't have co-unicorn lovers
twinkletolentino (7:24:35 PM): i know because shes the only one who believes in them
twinkletolentino (7:24:36 PM): HAHAHA
"sunshine" (7:24:52 PM): Hahahahah I knoow
"sunshine" (7:24:58 PM): At least cows are real!
"sunshine" (7:25:03 PM): Hahaha
twinkletolentino (7:25:16 PM): hahaha i know, theyre so real they get a parade and 3 months dedicated to them
"sunshine" (7:26:10 PM): I knooow! Wow were gunna meet other FCLA members!
"sunshine" (7:26:15 PM): HAHAHA
twinkletolentino (7:26:32 PM): hahah yeah i bet its gonna be PACKED
"sunshine" (7:27:16 PM): You think there's guestlist?!
"sunshine" (7:27:24 PM): Hahahah
twinkletolentino (7:27:30 PM): hahaha v.i.p
"sunshine" (7:27:35 PM): I wanna be VIP
"sunshine" (7:27:41 PM): HAHAHA
twinkletolentino (7:29:21 PM): i dont know but i might have to sponser a cow
twinkletolentino (7:29:23 PM): hahahah
"sunshine" (7:30:11 PM): Hahaha.. oOOh that'd be cool!

plaza mo' fuckin blvd.

can i express just exactly how much i HATE driving around that area? yesterday i had to take the boyfriends uniform to the dry cleaners to get his e4 patch sewn. i absolutely dreaded having to do it because that meant i had to go into filipino town. so im driving and the one thing i hate the most is when people in front of me push on their breaks and theres NO ONE in front of them! OH-EM-GEE! i just about wanted to ram my car into theirs. i HATE HATE HATE driving around plaza blvd just as much as i hate driving around national city.

changing the subject..

heres a funny picture my friend cy sent me last night



hahaha if you REALLY look close enough, youll see the funny part..

ooh and mike showed me this, im SO going and im SO dragging christian with me..



a COW parade!!!!!!!!!!!!! come on now, what can be more fun than that??

ok ok i should get to reading my books. ill write later..

much ado about nothing..

ok so i havent blogged in a while again. you would think i would considering all the time i sit staring mindlessly at the laptop. sometimes i do go on here and i cant think of a THING to write.

lets see, whats new..not in specific order..

i am in love with not only my bf but edward cullen as well..




its crooked. sue me.




i invested in an airwick for my room. everytime i see the darn commercial it always tempted me to drive to walmart to purchase one. i guess its time i finally did. (and YES that IS a perfect pancake maker behind it)





black friday purchases:







a gps system, some glasses, shoes..




went to christians apt on saturday to watch the paquiao/de la hoya fight.




and all i have to say is..




GO PAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


went to vegas with the boys & the bf..

rileys, home away from home.

haha. tell me why my friday nights are now essential to my life. friday nights consist of rileys. happy hour from 8-10, 3 dollar you call its. back breaking music courtesy of the bestfriends boyfriend MR SLURS aka AJ. its always a good time at that place. about almost everyone can never remember what exactly happens. however no other bar can ever replace landlord jims. ahh, rip. HAHA!

anyways, last night was a crazy night. I wont go into detail but lets just say, we know who has whos back.

BESTFRIEND: me and mj were hella crackin up at you, you were burning a hole through her head


yup. better believe it. you mess with my bestfriend, you mess with me. i got her back, like a wonderbra. HAHA.



some photos to enjoy..




dte - dts




"everyone look sad because carlas in the picture!"





rileys regulars.

sunny san diego

finally! its about time it started getting cold. U guess the title to my blog is the total opposite. I love winter time. I love being in sweaters. I love scarves. I love being in bed and cuddling with someone. going into stores and hearing christmas music playing. the mall being decked out in christmas stuff. YAAAHOOOOOO!!!!!

sooo, whats new everyone?

I guess its no surprise to anyone that I have a boyfriend. HAH! some of you are probably thinking, "wait but werent you with that psycho still?". Its time that I have finally moved on from all that D-R-A-M-A. As much as it sucks to say it, im happy again. I no longer feel dark clouds surrounding my head. HAHA! so my boyfriend, christian. hes really something. I wont lie, he has the traits of a typical guy but nonetheless, hes a good guy. its been a while since I was able to tell him when hes done something that kind of bothered me and instead of sitting there getting defensive and trying to figure out how to turn it around so that somehow someway its my fault, he takes the time to think of what he said to hurt my feelings and check this, APOLOGIZES! HAH! who woulda thought there was still guys out there who did that. dont get me wrong, dont think hes some pussy who doesnt stand up for himself because I know theres times where I do things that he doesnt like and hell tell me straight up, "stop youre annoying me." But because of the fact that our communication is at a balanced level I dont get mad, instead I treat him with the same respect. you know what they say, TO GET RESPECT YOU NEED TO GIVE RESPECT. something my last relationship lacked.

This guy, MUST be special though because I find myself doing things for him that I know I never done to anyone since my first boyfriend. crazy eh?! well, he deserves it. He lives 2 minutes away so I wont have to hear him complain about the gas he wastes. haha. Even when hes just been at work all day, when he sees me he tells me hes missed me. when were in bed he kisses me on the forehead almost all the time. the one thing I love the most. ahh, and his kisses..even after weeks, STILL give me butterflies.




ok ok, C-O-R-N-Y!


im just kind of wasting time until I have to go to pima. Yep, im going back to school to try and be an R.T. WISH ME LUCK EVERYONE. im scared to start school again. Butttt, I gotta do what I gotta do I guess. That just means you wont be seeing much of the twinkmeister for a while. Lets just hope that when you do, ill be filthy rich. HAHAHA! jk.

weeeeeeeeereee baaaaaaaack.

2005




2008



♥

count on me.

so, its crazy how in life you discover years and years down the road who your REAL friends truely are. there were a lot of people in my life who I thought were my real friends but after time they'd slowly just drift away. to me I believe that a real friend is someone who will stick by you. someone who will be your friend no matter the circumstances, through all the fights whether they be big or small.

my friends. my mean girls. the loves of my lifes second to my family. 3 of these girls (athena lim, maryjo rapada, jenny panganiban) I've knwon for 7 years, 1 (estherlen libao) for 11 years, & 2 (michele dela cruz, roxanne sunico) all my life. these girls were with me at my best and stayed with me at my worst. they've heard me laugh, theyve seen me cry, and they were always there when I needed someone to turn to and vice versa. despite our arguments within the group..we always at the end of it all, remain the best of friends. I love the fact that even though we get into these petty disputes, we know deep down that were stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. they keep me whole, they make me sane, they know how to make me laugh, &&&& I definitely always ALWAYS have a good time when im in their presence.

even when they have a boyfriend they never forget who their girls are and every once in a while will come out and play. I love them because they're not afraid to speak their mind. their not afraid to be their own person and to know when they are being done dirty by a guy or just a person in general. I learned a lot from them, that being one of them.


needless to say, fuck the rest. the fake ass people who "say" they'll always be my friend and that they'll always be around. actions speak louder than words and im am definitely not down for the people who only come to me when they're fighting w. their significant other and want to piss them off. im not down for the people who never call just to say hi. im a mean girl, always am..always will be.

all work. no play.

im at the board n care. bored to death.

what's been happening lately? not much. chillin w. my boyz. trying to make time w. the girls, the best, & the exbf. spending some qt w. my new friends timbo and co. gettin by one day at a time.

I don't have much to write but I did see this on jamas myspace and I thought id post it up..

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect, you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break, her heart . So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

-Bob Marley

some good stuff. back to watching what I like about you. everyone have a fun and safe friday<3

time can't rewind, it can only move foward.

I'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

If I had just one more day,
I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you

----

I cannot fix what is alreadye broken. I can't apologize because I've done it too many times. I can only take the blame for all my faults and mistakes. I can only wish that as time progresses that I try and learn from this stepping stone in my life. that I try to see the things I've done and to better myself not for anyone else, but for the sake of me. I know now who I was before and need to change. because in order to be loved, I have to also love myself.

I need to stop running away from my problems. need to stop with my bad temper. need to learn how to be more sincere. I need to stop thinking that everyone in this world is out to get me.

I know it to be true that there is a purpose why people come and go in your life. they're there to help mold you. to make an impact. if they hurt you, its only to help give you strength in the pain you may come across in the future. if they're just those ones who are too good to be true, they give you the faith to believe that there are good people out there.


so that's the end of that.

to that one person who I hurt the most, I never meant to do what I did. Im not asking for forgiveness. I just want you to know that everything I have ever done to hurt you, I never did intentionally.

what a wonderful world.

I think my life is finally running in a nice pace.

im going back to school soon. gonna get this radiology thang done as quick as I can. wish me luck!

my best & I are over our rough drought. I love that we can fight the way we do and as soon as its done and over were back to the way we were. I hate fighting w. people so im glad its back to normal!

yesterday I went to soak city w. my nieces and the guy bestfriend. we got there and went straight into the water. went to the wave pool first. it was funny cuz first the water was just chillin..we were all splashin & having a blast. next thing they turn the waves on and my goddaughter (being her first time) starts waaaaailing. I can tell she was having fun but at the same time she was terrified for her life. shed laugh and laugh and as soon as the wave came shed start climbing on my leg trying to get me to carry her screaming "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!" haha. hillarious. afterwards ryan and the older kids went on a ride while me and the little one went to play in the water playground. katelyn is a pootie. haha. she didn't wanna do anything and kept saying, "we need to find ate dez". so ryan took over while me dez and alana went to go on rides. fun times. I got home and was SO pooped. buttt, didn't stop me from going out.

bree picked me up after work where we headed to his house to round up the troops. dom & danny came over. hung out and left for dt. went to the local. had some drinks. jaz met up with us as well as tim and some of his friends. tim and I played the erotica game at the bar. he sucks. haaha. went to dennys afterwards to go eat. too bad tim passed out in his car. missed out on some good ol mothafuckin bacon. HAHAHA! funny. good times indeed.

super cr3w

Vote for super cr3w. thanks. :)

cause ronnie abaldonado is super sexy. haha!

time of the month

Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

talk about emo huh?
im still waiting for a better day. a day where I can smile like I used to.

let me just say this.. --edited

I love my eldest sister to death. you know why? because SHE actually tries to understand me. she makes me feel better yet she doesn't sugar coat anything. I can tell her everything and anything. she never judges me and always supports me in what I do and the decisions I make (unless its stupid then she tells me otherwise). I can trust her with my secrets. we have almost if not the same sense of humor and alwaaaays knows how to crack me up. without her, my life would definitely be bland. my sister IS my bestfriend. <3

beyonce - flaws&all.

its been a while. mainly because this sk's buttons aren't nearly as good as the old sk buttons. it hurts my hand when I type.

anywho,

id like to think of myself as a very complexed person. I've told several people from time to time that I don't think they'd understand me. I can't even understand myself. there's a lot of things going on in my life that I can't even seem to put into words and now more than ever I close myself up so no one can know what's going on in my thoughts.

it aggrevates me that im a person who can't seem to figure out what I want in life. im such an indecisive person that it can get in the way of the things I do. one day, i want things this way..the next week I want it the total opposite way.............complexed. told you.

im a person who gets bored easily also. so when something becomes too routine I get tired of it and want to move on to something else. another bad flaw.

like a true piscean. im a dreamer. I get so caught up in them that I forget reality and seem to trap myself into twinkles fantasy land. I dream of great things. I also dream of weird things like being shipwrecked and saved by jack sparrows boat only to be stopped halfway into a casino where we bought a compass from the giftshop.

-- im sidetracking.

in my dreams I think of how great it would be to finally figure out what I want to do and who I want to be in life. be stable. find a husband who can finally understand me and my ways and put up with it, no questions asked because he knows that..that's just me and that's just how I am..but all the same..loves me just for that. a husband who helps me better myself when it comes to my attitude, my stubborness, my lack of reasoning sometimes, etc. instead of picking at my faults and having arguments such as "well you do this & you do that" because he knows that when you point fingers it doesn't help the situation any less. one who will never keep tabs of the good things he does for me so that when we do fight won't have to draw it up on a powerpoint presentation. I dream of having a decent sized house. nothing too big because id want to be able to feel safe and secure. I dream of having a dog and 3 kids. a boy & two girls. only because I love dressing girls up but id also love to see my son play in all kinds of sports. I dream of still having my friends who have stuck by me through thick & thin. the ones who never talked shit behind my back. the ones who would still hang out no matter how busy their schedule got.

only time and patience can determine if my dreams and my fantasy land will ever happen in real life. but in order for it to come true, I have to do it...on my own.

still getting by..

7 months today & I still love & miss you the same, if not..more. rest in peace jeff. im always thinking about you.

pisces..

The Fishes
Febuary 20 to March 20

Traditional
Pisces Traits
Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

On the dark side....

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led


Pisces! About Your Sign...

Pisces,
Pisceans possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. They have many generous qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering they encounter. They are deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because their easygoing, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters. They accept the people around them and the circumstances in which they find themselves rather than trying to adapt them to suit themselves, and they patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out rather than take the initiative in solving them. They are more readily concerned with the problems of others than with their own.

Their natures tend to be too otherworldly for the practical purposes of living in this world as it is. They sometimes exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually (depending on how they are aspected). They long to be recognized as greatly creative. They also dislike disciple and confinement. The nine-to-five life is not for them. Any rebellion they make against convention is personal, however, as they often times do not have the energy or motivation to battle against the Establishment.

Pisceans tend to withdraw into a dream world where their qualities can bring mental satisfaction and sometimes, fame and financial reward for they are extremely gifted artistically. They are also versatile and intuitive, have quick understanding, observe and listen well, and are receptive to new ideas and atmospheres. All these factors can combine to produce remarkable creativity in literature, music and art. They may count among their gifts mediumistic qualities which can give them a feeling that their best work comes from outside themselves, "Whispered beyond the misted curtains, screening this world from that." Even when they cannot express themselves creatively they have a greater than average instinct for, and love of, beauty in art and nature, a catlike appreciation of luxury and pleasure, and a yearning for new sensations and travel to remote, exotic places.

They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected. They are nevertheless intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful.


"FEED YOUR FAITH AND YOUR FEARS WILL STARVE TO DEATH"


I don't know what's in store for my future, but I have a feeling..its something worth waiting for.

I love sleeping.

for some reason today, I was able to go back to sleep after waking up. I really need to stop waking up at 11 though. eh, I guess its better than when I woke up at 12? haha.

yesterday was a pretty productive day. I did some stuff around the house. my sis came over and I cut her hair. lai came and we went to get something to eat at lolitas. saw lahh and archie w. koa. also saw joycyll & verndogs sister. ate some carne asada frizzies then headed to starbucks to do some chit-chatting. afterwards lai dropped me off and I gave my motherdear my keys. bree, ron, & danny picked me up and we went to joltn joes to play pool. dom & ricky met up. afterwards went to dennys where we sat for a good 30 minutes trying to figure out where to eat. ended up at jbos parking lot pimpin..then went home. those boys, are hillarious. haha.

good luck on your interview today lai. you'll do fine. <3

long time no blog

hola mi amigos.

I haven't been up in this bad boy for a while. there's so much that's been happening but so little of my memory to give out. so sorry for ya suckas.

anywhoo! I'm glad to say I've been hangin w. some of my old friends and its been ridiculously fun. ohhh how I've missed my aubreezy and danny. those two are crazy sons of a. saturday we decided to go out since the whole week we were being nothing but lazy. lai came early to hang out then lahh, aj, archie, and james came. we waited for aubrey and danny to come w. the drinks. as soon as we got all warm n fuzzy inside we headed to dt and went to the local. john n marvin were at raw eating sushi and met up w. us after. the most popular thing at the bar = the breathalizer. I swear everyone was trying to see who can get the highest point level. after my shot of patron I said, no thanks. I already know I'm drunk. ron met up with us shortly after. lai and them left early buti stayed and hung out. met some cool chicks. friends of aubreys. kris & her friend, I forgot her name. oops. heh. anyway, john was missing for a while so I was sent out to look for him. found him w. a cup of ice water and off to the side, chunks of sushi. haha! poor thing. afterwards we left to get mexican food where me, bree, danny, and ron went back to rons to eat. afterwards dropped me off at home and passed the fuck out.

the next day I woke up w. a slight bit of a headache. thanks to my hangover cure = gatorade ;] yum. good stuff indeed. I spent the whole day being a lazy bum and was seriously in bed, in the same position. jus watchin some good ol sunday movies & sippin on some juice. a wonderful sunday.

yesterday I played w. the kids, cut my nieces hair and enjoyed my 2nd last day before working. chilled out at home. lai and lahh came over for some girl talk. thank god! I definitely needed some real girl time. I can't even begin to tell you how awesome these two girls are. I'm not used to being around people who don't have to talk about other people but jus random stuff. I love these two to death and I'm very very thankful I met them because I think without them, I'd be going crazy already. they absolutely keep me sane. =)

I guess I should get out of my bed and start my day already. heh! I need to get rid of this bad sleeping pattern. chatting till 4am is not good but it feels so right! HAHA! I'm a hoot. maybe ill write later..

the reason why alcohol is my enemy..

I absolutely HATE hangovers. big ones, little ones. its just that feeling in the morning that you can't concentrate. like someone had drained all the saliva out of your mouth and no matter how much water you drink it seems to just soak up within minutes.

I have never played so much beer pong until I met hiep. his friends (which are my friends now also) play almost everytime we hang out. I think were the reason the plastic cup company has been able to make all the fancy shmancy looking ones now. you know, the multiple colors and such with all the money we put into it every other day. haha. don't get me wrong though, beer pong is the absolute shit. I remember a time when wed play at athenas in san marcos and boy did I suck! now I think I've gotten it figured out. hah. we played the usual 6 cup with 2 people. one day though, mike decided to crank it up a notch. now we play 28 cups w. 4 people. calling it "4 by 4". haha. same rules just a little longer but a little more intense. yesterday I played 3 games. 1 reg and 2 4by4's and lost each game. therefore, was pretty dang drunk leaving me a bad headache. oh well, all worth it for a good time.

congrats to the girl added to thee girlfriends corner!! more girls to play beer pong with. =D

"if the girlfriends don't like you, you probably won't last" hahahha. freakin lahh.

anywhoo. I woke up this morning to babysit the kids till the motherload got home. hiep said he was gona be here at 7am. by 7:45 I already knew he was still sleeping. as soon as jacob fell asleep I hopped into the shower to wake myself up a little. I got out and found my bf in my room watching tv. 8oclock. not bad. I looked to my right and there sat a vase full of red roses. ahhh, my bf. the charmer. =) what can I say? he's the best.

todays plans: delmeezy w. the gangola!!

like a pizza in an oven..

I'm burning up! holy freakin moly. you'd think that because I don't get any sort of sun light in my room itd be cooler than a polar bears toenail...nope! its still freakin hot as heccck in there. its worse when hieps laying next to me. its like more body heat. this is why I love winter. dangit.

( btw, thanks lai for reading up on my posts, you're awesome! =] )

lately I've been studying up on my exam for my test. I hope I pass.

today I woke up exceptionally later than usual. 12pm! geezus. I got up, got ready and headed out the door. I was totally sidetracked w. my thoughts that I missed the route I was trying to go. I somehow ended up on the 805 s. I exited bonita and before going to my destination thought I'd make an unexpected turn into glen abbey. I parked and headed to wear jeff rests. sat beside him and put a new candle in kristines lantern and lit it up. left him a menthol light while I lit mine. we smoked, well I smoked. I imagined he was up there doing the same. told him my thoughts, what's been happening, that like everyday I miss him more than ever. I don't want him feeling like I've forgotten him.

afterwards I said my goodbyes and went to young ideas hair salon to meet w. ghemma. hopefully her owner says she can use me as an assistant. dropped by my older sisters house to pick up some clothes and to check if my book came in yet. no luck. bah. got food for my mom and here I am, dying in heat.

today I'm actually going to attend my cardio class along w. my sister and her friends liza and janette. its been a while...2 weeks maybe? since my last class. after going to two and feeling how pumped and energetic I am days after makes me really wanna go frequently because I noticed that the last 2 weeks have been leaving me L-A-Z-Y again. I hate it!

hopefully this saturday marjee & sheila come along as well. =D

happy friday!

for anyone who's concerned (which you're probably not) the boyfriend and I are ok.

on a much lighter note, I never got to mention how the jabbawockeez (YES another jabbawockeez entry, hiep WAS right and no ate I am NOT borderline stalker..ok just a little) went to my nieces dance studio to practice. well, some of the jabbs used to teach there so I wasn't so surprised. I was however, pretty bummed when I found out ben was there. my goodness is he a looker. my sister even said, 'yea he is cuter in person' ...MMHMM!! you said it! anyway, they were nice enough to take the time out and sign autos and take pics w. my niece and her dance group. she got her shoe signed by rainen and phi and got rainen, ben, saso, and phi to sign her yearbook. ahh, ben..my little sweetheart. haha! jk. I was about to take my ass, pick up lai and head over there. but my sister said they were leaving. SHUCKS! ..hiep reminded me "you knooooow, you DID take a picture w. him at 4th and b". haha. he's silly. I'm glad he doesn't mind my super obsession w. the jabbs.

I was bummed that I also missed ANOTHER david henry cardio class. crapS! this saturday. I hope I hope! I need to feel the burrrrnn!

speaking of dancers. I've seriously watched americas best dance crew season 2 about 10 or more times already. I think I could do most of the dances. ok no. I'm dissapointed in all the "jabb" fans that all of a sudden like supreme soul. don't get me wrong. they're good BUT not as good as my hotties. the shorter guy IS cute. hehe. but if I have to pick a favorite, I like SoRealCru from houston? I think that's where they're from. they're dances are sexy. boogie bots from dc is pretty ill also. but I still gotta root for super cr3w from vegas. GO WESTCOAST!!

I'd like to also say..

its so crazy. I've never gotten into basketball until I met hiep. I guess also its because we watch it with all his friends which makes it more exciting. but even when its jus us two, he's just so into it that the vibe goes through me. I was sad to see their loss in the second half when their first half was just too good to be true. kobe is STILL fine though. yumS!

when I scream..is anyone listening?

I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble where no one can hear me. like those dreams where you're standing and someones coming after you yet you can't move. you're scared out of your mind and your yelling for someone to wake you from this wretched dream. you're trying to pull your body off the floor to run away but all of a sudden its as if someone had drilled nails to your feet so you can't leave. think I'm overexaggerating? I'm totally not.

what makes a relationship work? communication and understanding am I right? but how does that work when the type of communication you're getting is just question after question. how does it work when they're too busy trying to be right to fully understand why you're feeling the way you do. how will it work when one just walks away from an issue hoping it will just go away just like that (yes, I admit that even I'M not helping in this situation) or that my hand against someones face will make things better. its not about the small issue, its not about a blanket..or who's right or wrong. its about feeling like youve done something good by going out of your way (and no they didn't ask u to do it) to please a person and all they do is take it for granted. that's what its about. and if I'm wrong for feeling like my actions have been put to the side for the mere fact of being right. then so be it.

I've never gotten phsyical with anyone but does it ever cross ones mind that the reason why I do it is cause they push my buttons? maybe the way I can push a persons buttons to curse and yell at me the way they do when I walk away. cause I know that's what makes them mad.

this isn't healthy. I want us to be healthy. I want us to have an understanding of each other. I know I can't change a person but I wish we can come to a conclusion of how to handle situations without it ending up the way it does. I guess the only way that can happen is through communication is it not? don't get me wrong. he totally understands me when were not fighting. but when we are its like he's a different person. this person who doesn't care to see how I'm feeling because he's so tuned out. it scares me. he knows it scares me. I just hope one day, it will never have to be like this again. I love him. I really do. I don't even care if he doesn't feel the same way back. I love him not for his temper but for everything except that. I have faith that one day well be able to handle things better. but does he?

spice up your life..

I was reading some old blogs and I noticed I haven't stunned u guys with some of my facts. mainly because I've been blogging on my sk since I don't have internet yet.

also, I noticed how SOME of my entries are witty and some jus are plain boring. don't get me wrong everyone! I'm a lot more funny in person, I swear. however, if you'd like some good hillarious knee slapping blogs please visit, shere1.blogspot.com. sorry ate, I can't do that cool thing you do where you can click the name and it'll link it to their blog. haha.

so yesterday I was bored and had a lot of time to kill before I was going to meet up w. the couples for some dinner at old town. I decided to join my sister and watch dez go to her hiphop classes. we get there and dez and her class are sitting around while my sister and I sat and waited. in comes the hot instructor as he dances his way through the two opened doors. he gives me a look and a smile, takes my hand gives me a twirl. he looks into my eyes and says, "you are the hottest hip hop cardio girl I've ever seen in MY LIFE". then I snap into reality as my sister is talking about her car incident the day before. haha. ok ok, hot dance instructor or HDI..wasn't there yesterday. my sister and I did check out dez' dance instructor bust some moves. YUM, CHOC-OH-LATAY.

(dance instructor goes up to turn aircon in room)
me: oh no, its ok, don't do that....JUST SWEAT. hahahahaha

I waited for hiep to pick me up at the studio while I watched a hip hop cardio class in session. made a couple friends while I sat around and watched giggles triumphantly bust her moves WITH her eyes closed and the hiepster look alike from the back who was flayling his arms here and there w. the beat who ALSO had his eyes closed (or were they open and I jus couldn't tell? who knows).

I decided I'm gona take hip hop classes. hiep was making fun of me when I told him my golden news.

me: do u think I can do it?
him: I think u can do it. do I think you'll be coordinated while doing it? that's another story..
me: I can be coordinated!!
him: are u going to be one of those dancers who cry while dancing cuz their so into it..u might here a chris brown song come on and jus start tearing cuz youre so into the movements..

I should post up a picture of exactly how he thinks ill look during hip hop classes. haha. asshole.

afterwards met up some of the gang at old town where we ate at some mexican joint. I like how mike says over the phone, "yea, twinkle! its the mexican cafe with the lady tossing up tortillas". we get there and there's 6 mexican cafes and maybe 3 with ladies tossing up tortillas. haha. food was good. I was stuffed. we made our way to 32nd for some wednesday night bowling. I gotta say, I missed our wednesday night outings. now that archie works mornings again, looks like our boring phase has passed. had fun. drank some beers, bowled some balls. jesse hendrickson came by also. it was nice seeing him after how many years! talked to him for a bit.

went home & the bf came back to sleepovers w. me and teddy.

todays plans? visit jeff then lakers game w. the gang.



*** 5 months today ***
rest in peace jeffster. love & miss you.

and I'm dancing like I've never danced before..

Its been a while since I wrote in here. mainly because I don't have much internet access and my sk is a pain in the ass when blogging. but I'm here, and I can't sleep so why not?

also, I've been spending a lot of time w. the bf and tedsters. he's getting a lot better! now he's no longer leashed as much and does his bizznazz on his mat. phew! patience is key, patience is key.

before I go on talking about my new found hobby let me take a minute and gripe about something. can I express enough how much I hate mall parking lot structures? today the bf and I decide to go eat at sushi deli. we take my car and there was some telemundo thing by the restaurant which made us have to park at the mall. we were so excited for sushi (god knows why, we eat there almost every week) that we didn't bother to look where we had parked. not to mention we got completely lost trying to find the entrance to the mall so we could validate. we kept telling each other, "its gona be a bitch finding the car cuz we didn't bother to look at what FRUIT we parked at"..thank god for those by the way, the little numbers w. the fruit, veggie, disney character right next to it. so we eat, go back to the parking structure and what do you know. WERE LOST. we spent a good 30 minutes looking for hieps car then finally we realized, "oh shit, we didn't take his car..we took mine". if we had known that 30 minutes earlier then when it dawned on us, we woulda found my car because we past the level it was in. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWSH.

my sister and I found a new hobby. yup, HIP HOP CARDIO. we went the other weekend when it was free. there were so many people that we didn't have much room to move around. that class, WAS EASY PEAZY! we ended up getting more classes and even my sisters friend janette joined us. the other week we took the 1030 am class. last sat we decided to take the 930 w. a different teacher. lets just say, my legs blew out from trying to impress the hot dance instructor. hahaha! yup, should've just stuck to the 1030 am class. jk. no but really, his class was actually a lot better because I felt like I really worked out. despite I lost my train of thought when he'd come in front of me, my sister, and janette to see if we got the moves right. teehee, of course, he can't compare to my jabbawockee of a bf who knows how to do the chest move. haha. Mmm sexy! anywho, I can't wait for another good workout this week!

that saturday after the workout I got home and got ready, went to my sisters for a bit then went home to meet up the bf. we hung out till it was time for me to go to bodyrock. the bf stayed at my house while I left. bodyrock was pretty damn awesome. I had fun. I'm seriously thinking of taking hip hop classes! along w. my hula with lai. funtimes. afterwards, we met up w. my sisters friend liza and her fam..yes, which includes belle..rainens (jabbawockeez) wife. I was hoping she didn't recognize me that night lai and I went jabbahunting. haha! I got home. chilled then slept at hiepstas house.

I guesss that's it? my fingers hurt.

also, wisha me luck on my interviews this week!


-- 4 month mark & still going strong<3

boring care.

hahahaha! YES I still think its funny. anyway, I'm here at my moms board and care just wasting some time until I go pick up dez.

not much has been happening since monday. teddy is still being a brat. yesterday hiep and I had dinner w. my sister, the bro in law, and their kids. ate sushi at tomadotchi. good stuff. different from sushi deli. I've got to admit though, sushi deli has by far...the BEST miso soup. no other restaurant can compare. butttt, tomadotchi has some GOOOOOD dessert. I'm craving it as we speak!

I am jampacked lately! hiphop cardio/mani pedi with sister n moms on sat. pads game/mikes grad party on sun. tks bday dinner on thurs. dez' papia performance on the 30th. bodyrock on the 31st.

also, to add to me n hieps busy month next month we've got a road trip next month! hopefully everyone else can go also.

boring, boring, boring. ok lets spice this up a little more..

got this from my sisters page..

What were you doing five years ago?
I was working at circuit city. deciding whether or not I was gona go to reg. college or cosmetology.

What are/were five things on your to-do list for today?
- help moms out w. the board and care
- pick up dez
- babysit the little ones after my dad leaves for work
- hang out w. the boyfriend
- watch the lakers game

What five snacks do you enjoy?
- hooters 3 mile island wings.
- lemons.
- pickles.
- sprinkles cupcakes (my new found love).
- Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
- take care of my parents.
- share with my sisters and bf
- go to europe/japan
- give some to charity
- Invest and save the rest!

What are five of your bad habits?
- I crack my knuckles constantly.
- I'm number one on filipino time.
- like my sister, I'm a compulsive spender when I have money
- I HAVE to wear a tank top to sleep cause I hate when my shirt hikes up my armpits
- when I'm craving a certain type of food I WON'T settle for anything else

What are five places you have lived?
- in the hood (ph)
- in the boonies (murrieta)
- in the rich area (eastlake)
- on my sisters couch (chula vista)
- hieps room (scripps ranch) haha

What are five jobs you have had?
- robinsons may retail associate for the intimate apparel department.
- front des receptionist for primerica.
- product specialist at circuit city.
- kids club attendant at la fitness
- parts/service department for some car joint

what five people do you want to tag?
whoeva.


---- on another note, don't worry ate..ill be just as uncoordinated tomorrow. I have a feeling you're right though. I bet tomorrow all the young and more flexible girls are gonna be there. yipes!!

motherly-love

so, i guess you can say having teddy is almost like having a kid on your own. he cries when he cant see me, pees and poos around the clock, eats almost ALL the time, and is SPOILED-SPOILED-SPOILED. not only by me, but everyone around me. my dad is constantly checking my room to see what hes doing and if hes sleeping he'll grab him and bring him outside to hang out with him. katelyn follows him around. gets excited when she knows shes going to see him, cries when she leaves and is always "just tucking him in". she wont let her sister play with him. OH, imagine when alana tries to play with him, its gonna be a GIRLFIGHT. a good way to get her to behave though...

me: katelyn, make sure you share your toys with jacob or im not going to bring teddy here.

katelyn: oh! okay ninang! here jacob, play with ALL my toys.

haha. funny. yesterday after the madness of all the attention he was getting, hiep and i decided to leave him in his little room and go to archies. the guys played beer pong and dominos while lahh, lai, and i sat in the corner and talked. lahh had her puppy koa on her lap and we could NOT stop talking about our puppies. lai sat there and said, "you guys are talking about koa and teddy as if theyre your kids and im just sitting here, DEEJAY I WANT A DOG". deejays response, "ill get you a tamagotchi" HAHA, i was cracking up! take note, lai has a dog. his name is pico. well, his REAL names poncho but i call him pico. deejay didnt let lai take care of him. probably because he didnt want all the attention going to him so he put him in the backyard with no interaction with anybody whatsoever. now, the dog is feisty. well, from what hiep told me is that the dog was hyper to begin with and not friendly. always barking. a lot different from teddy. nonetheless, the dog is abandon in the backyard in a foursided gate. my dog however, is starting to think that he can sleep next to me at night. the only reason why ive been letting him is because its keeping him quiet at night while we have guests from p.i. but believe me, as soon as they leave and its just me and teddy in the house at night, he can cry all night and i can tune it out. i tune out hieps whining, how hard can it be? HAHAHAHA!!

boofuckinghoo.

yeah i said it, and i dont care.
I need some kind of cheering up.

lonely world

Beautiful mom can you smile?
Can you glow, can you sing me my favorite song?
Got fever, warm clothes are clean, kids are gone
What to do she's a sleeping sun.
She says birds fly out her window
She watches jealously
She says she's too old for new things
But mama you got wings

so, the cats out of the bag. im STRESSED.


ive tried so hard to hide it under a smile and a shrug but i guess eventually its bound to come out. i dont know what to do? go back to school to further more advance my knowledge? or get a job that i'll absolutely hate just to earn some greens. part of me thinks of just pursuing what i initially went to school for, cosmetology. but part of me wants to make MORE money doing something that'll make me feel good at the end of the day. going to school somewhere in the medical field is something my mom wanted me and my sisters to do as a permanent career. it sounds good, but am i capable? im sure if i put my heart into it id be able to do it. now my choice was to go back to school to become a teacher. i absolutely and undoubtedly loveeeee kids. i can be around them for hours. i remember working at la fitness in the kids section and as much as some of them drove me insane, i still loved seeing their little faces glow with happiness when id read them a book, draw them a picture, play wallball with them. it was priceless.

then theres the side of me that just wants to get a job that ill hate jus to make money. lately ive been stressed out financially. its not so much my problem but someone rather close to me. i want to help her out. i want to work hard, earn money, and just give it all to her. it makes me sad to see her stressed out about it. it makes me sad knowing that shes worried about so many other things that her financial struggles doesnt make it any easier for her. i just want her to be happy. i miss her smile. i miss when she didnt worry about all this stuff. sometimes i jus lay there with her and hug her because i want her to feel like eventually, at the end of this crazy mess, that everything will be okay. i cant help but cry when i think about all this stuff.

then i read risse's blog and thats when i think more than ever do i need god. that she needs god. that we all need god.

risses blog -"Matthew 11:28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

i pray everynight that he'll watch over her and make sure that shes being taken care of somehow because i know right now, i cant do it. n0w more then ever do i WISH i can take care of her. i see her struggle, and i see her trying to be the strong woman she once was and i know that shes trying her hardest not to let any of us worry. we'll be okay one day again, like we were before. we'll make it through. but for now, i gotta keep on being strong for her as well.

so im sorry to those who ive been not keeping in touch with. its nothing im trying to do intentionally. some say they think they can understand, but right now..i dont think anyone can. not even the boyfriend.

unrelated blog about absolutely nothing.

twinkles fun fact of the day: We are about 1 cm taller in the morning than in the evening. Layers of cartilage in the joints gets compressed during the day.

moving on

so its almost that time folks. im moving back to my old house in about, 3 days. am i excited? heck yeah! i think thats one of the main reasons its been hard for me to sleep at night. ill think about, "where should i put my bed?" or "will my tv fit on that side?" then i started thinking, "ok, do i REALLY want to paint my walls that color?" me and the hiepsta decided to start thursday that way the smell of paint can wear off by saturday. i was thinking of going for this color



ok thats about as descriptive as i can get. turquoise. i love that color for some odd reason.

either that or i was gonna go for a dark blue and bright red that way i can buy this..



we'll see what happens..

yesterday

was a pretty good day. hiep came over. played some wii. spent some qt time. he took a nap. i still cant figure out how the heck hes able to sleep on that darn couch. i guess ill never understand. he left to go finish studying and i met up with the best and jenny to eat some pho. me and the best went to target/walmart afterwards and did a whole lot of catching up seeing as i havent seen her for forever and missed her like crazy. we even saw this hag we were JUST talking about during dinner. HAHA. just the look of her makes me cringe. oh well. im sure jay loved that story.

ironman

tomorrow im taking the bf to watch ironman. will i like it? who knows. i know that i misjudged transformers. so we'll just have to see. i told him id watch ironman but that would mean hed have to watch sex and the city the movie with me. well, even if i didnt watch ironman..id still make him go with me. HAHA!


what else is on my mind..

myspace

oh yeah, so ive been thinking more and more...why is myspace so addicting and why cant i get off it? i swear, all it is..is pictures/comments. i dont get whats so fascinating about other peoples lives. haha. i catch myself sometimes going back to someones page that ive already seen thinking that something might magically appear. kind of like when youre really hungry but theres NO food. you go back and forth to the fridge like some magic elf might have left you some cookies. and then theres those peoples pages you WANT to look at it but when you see its private you curse at the world as if its most devestating thing thats ever happened to you. hahaha. you know you people know what im talking about! then theres the people who get offended if youre not on their "top". tom might as well make a "so and so's" top 204. that way EVERYONE will be pleased. myspace is a drug i tell ya, it'll make you go crazy.

aim convos.

i was talking to tk (toeknee) yesterday and we were so close to hitting up that alicia keys concert. butttt, eh. next time. his birthday functions coming up and im thinking of going to a few. i havent hung out with him since bar basic when he and ollie got into a fight. talk about a LONG time ago. maybe i'll bring some of my gals with me so i wont feel too awkward. he said to me, "yeah come! you'll never know who might show up". haha. hes so crazy. i love that guy!

rainy days

boy have i missed it. i love the rain. not everyday but once in a while its nice to look out and see everything all mellow. i love it cause it makes me feel lazy. a good lazy. the type of lazy where it just feels good to be under some comfy sheets watching some tv.



yesterday marked jeffs 4 months. 4 months? can you believe that? i swear it was just like yesterday that i said goodbye to him at glen abby. i read annes blog. very deep. dont worry cousin, when it comes to jeff i think about the same things. im sure everyone does. at least, everyone that i talk to does. hes in my prayers every night and in my thoughts everyday. life really isnt the same without him. i started thinking, will i ever be okay? sometimes i get scared that i'll forget how he sounds, what he looks like, how he laughs, how weird he was. i try to remember everything about him. i absolutely hate hate hate the fact that hes gone. whenever the 5th hits i always seem to wish i could figure out a way to get him back but i know that'll never happen.

i have a lot on my mind. a lot of things that are bothering me. but none of which i want to really discuss through blogs right now. lets just say, it sucks when the people you care about, dont really have your back like you thought they did. dont get me wrong, there are those who DO have my back and i appreciate it and i love you unconditionally for it. but the ones who dont are the ones im dissapointed in.

i am STILL in love with you.

twinkles fun fact of the day: a hummingbird weighs less than a penny.

yeah, you read the caption right. no matter what, i cant seem to NOT be in love with the jabbawockeez. yesterday the bf, lai, ronnie, and i went to the e40 concert where the jabbawockeez were going to perform (pictures will be up as soon as lai uploads). we waited a good hour in line and the whole time we kept saying "man, we shouldve got something to drink." the more time passed the more we wasted time NOT getting alcohol in our system. we FINALLY got in and went to the booths to check out the shirts. the bf was kind enough to get me another shirt, this time in a girl size. tell me why the small was TOO small. lai and i ended up getting a medium.



ronnie got a shirt for him and deejay since deejay is probably the biggest fan outta the guys and couldnt go due to being in p.i. OH BUT WOULD HE HAVE LOVED IT! we get some dranky dranks and headed towards the stage to get some good spots. we got MAJORLY good spots. i scooted in front of this tall girl standing in front of me. as hiep would say, "we got the nice side of the crowd". normally girls would be "OH HELL NO THIS BIOTCH DID NOT JUST GO IN FRONT OF ME." i guess she understood because lai and i are tiny. we waited, waited, waited, waited, and waited. our buzzes wore off, ronnie was tired from getting too hyphy too early & i had to be SO SO SO SO bad! but! i wasnt going to go to the bathroom and miss my hunnies. then there they came.



i was screaming so loud that it was starting to hurt my throat. i'll admit, i was going NUTSO (yeah i dont care what you people think haha). and yes, OH YES..phil touched my hand. their performance was so damn good. afterwards we enjoyed the rest of the concert. got hyphy. well, ronnie did. HAHA! i just enjoyed the music and moved my toosh. lai and i bought masks hoping to get them signed but we didnt have a pen. we got to take pictures with ben



chris


saso


rainen


and phil


seperately. afterwards i couldnt help but stare at our treasures. thank you lai, for the best night of my life. haha!

may 31st my sister, my niece, and i are going to bodyrock so des can get a feel of the hip hop culture. im sure she'll love it. i cant wait to see her grow and become a good dancer. my sister says we might be able to hang out with her friend thats helping out. woohoo! fun stuff!!